Continuum

PROLOGUE


If I had been born during any other era, my story would be different. The world would not be ready to understand with open hearts or minds. To this day, many still choose not to. But whether they choose ignorance or empathy is up to them. My story will still be here; it will never be erased.
It begins and remains with a revelation: All of who I am lies on a continuum. My identity cannot be encompassed by a single term.

My ethnicity. I am biracial. I am both Jewish and Chinese.

My gender. I am genderqueer, existing outside the binary of boy and girl.

My disability. I am Deaf with access to some sound through two cochlear implants.

My sexuality. I am pansexual, loving beyond straight or gay.

I have not always known these identity expressions. To understand them, I first had to unlearn. It required diving deep into the systems that oppressed me, scraping the surface to expose them, and then studying their roots. And while it was terrifying, I understood that the communities standing by me would always offer support. That love and empathy (products of this ever-­long process of discovery) can melt the cold, hard surface of the iceberg. Together, we will rebuild these systems around inclusivity and accessibility by embracing individuality and living our truths.


CONTINUUM


As soon as I could articulate my choices, I chose to paint my childhood bedroom blue. Looking back, it is clear that this decision was made in favor of the gender I wished to claim. Books and loose papers filled with doodles covered the floor ­one thing that has never changed. From bed, I gazed up, scanning the edges of my ceiling, watching the blue meet the bare drywall. My body was engulfed by the tangled mess of superhero blankets as my pupils ran laps around the whites of my eyes, cycling through the routine in hopes it would shift my focus from the constant ringing in my ears. It was an eerie pitch, distant yet close, seeming to emanate from my

Chella Man; Illustrated by Chella Man and Ashley Lukashevsky