Mollie's Rules for the Socially Inept: 2012 (ePub)

MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, by humorist Mollie Fermaglich and written with tongue planted firmly, examines social behavior and customs. Without question there are those people who know inherently which fork to use, how to properly eat chicken and what to wear to the Bridgehampton Polo Match. Then there are the rest us. If you are someone who places a napkin on your lap only when dining with others, swallow olive pits because you don't know what else to do with them, who must think twice before answering the question, "Were you brought up in a barn?" MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT is for you.

This is an honest book, a book that addresses such questions as:

Have social mores really changed over the years?

What is socially acceptable in 2012?

What is in poor taste and can you get away with it anyway?

MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT does not attempt to change you, nor is it concerned with your behavior when you are home alone because even if you use your mouth to clip your toe-nails, who cares? It's a book geared to help those of you with questionable table manners, limited social grace and absolutely no finesse whatsoever, carry off your reprehensible behavior with verve and style.

Whether you're inept at the dinner table, when dining at a fine restaurant, at parties, the office or on a blind date with someone who's much fatter than he sounded on the phone, MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT are the only rules to live by in these ungovernable times.

Finally, MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT attempts to define a contemporary code of social ethics. Is it old-fashioned to stand when a woman enters the room? What's the proper way to respond to a dinner invitation? Is it wrong to not offer your seat on a bus or train to a pregnant woman? Is it wrong if you hide your face behind The New York Times so it looks like you didn't see there was a pregnant woman standing two feet from you?

It is the author's hope that this book answers these and many other practical, common and often selfish questions as openly and honestly as possible. Though Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post might disagree or be shocked by MOLLIE'S RULES FOR THE SOCIALLY INEPT, they would have the social grace to keep their thoughts to themselves. And besides-they're dead. That being said, they perhaps more than anyone would agree that, as times change, so must social behavior.